Not A Joke
by JuliaKerns5
Summary: [WARNING: Slash][RLSB][MWPP Era][OneShot][Written with the excellent xxacidxx!] James wants Sirius to play an April Fool's joke on Remus, but it's hard to find it funny when Remus doesn't even know it's April Fool's Day. Uh oh... R&R!


A look of pure wickedness spread across the darkened features of one Sirius Black. Resting lightly on his lap sat a calendar. This calendar was telling him something very important  
was coming tomorrow, something so deadly important he could hardly stand the wait. As the mysterious eyes of the young Animagus lit up with anticipation, his presence was  
joined with another. A boy his age with scraggly hair--that would never stay in place--flopped onto the rustic colored bed beside him.

"What's that you have, Padfoot?"

"A calendar." Came the distracted reply.

An awed sound emitted from his lips. "A calendar? How impressive." Sarcasm was laced tightly into his voice.

"Not just any calendar."

"Oh? Do explain."

"It's a calendar telling me tomorrow is April Fools."

James' face lit up as well. "So soon? How could I have missed it!?"

"Good thing you have me, mate." Sirius replied setting the calendar aside.

"Got any victims in mind?"

James paused thoughtfully while scratching his chin. He sat up suddenly ,and – if it were possible – the light bulb illuminated over his head.

"Remus." He informed Sirius bluntly.

Sirius was immediately skeptical, standing up and pinning the calendar against the wall again.

"Oh come on, James, Remus always pranks _with_ us, we don't prank _against _him."

James rose his eyebrows expectantly at Sirius, who just stood there with furrowed brows.

"Don't you remember last year, Sirius?"

"Of course I do, James," He said defensively. "How could I forget an April Fool's prank? We put a potion in Slughorn's drink so he confessed his undying love to McGonagall. The best we've ever done."

"Do you remember what happened at the end?" James continued mockingly, as though speaking impatiently to a two-year old.

"Er… yeah. McGonagall almost caught us but then we told her that it was Bertha Jorkins. And then when McGonagall asked Bertha 'were you responsible for this?' Bertha thought it was about the test she had cheated on a little while ago and had nodded." Sirius said, squinting slightly.

"Don't you remember Remus?"

"No."

James gave a slight laugh. "He was clinging onto your arm, Sirius, he was shaking so badly," He said amusingly. "Since we were almost caught and he had been so shaken he told us to never involve him in our pranks again."

"So?" Sirius asked confusedly. "That doesn't mean that we should prank him."

James shrugged in a if-you're-not-a-prankster-you'll-get-pranked way. "He's not pranking with. Remus is fun to mess with."

"Er..." Sirius retorted, a little urgently now. "I don't think so."

"Come on, Padfoot!" James egged on. "We need you to help us."

Sirius leaned forward incredulously. " _I_ have to do the pranking?"

"Sure. He won't get mad if you do it."

Sirius waved a finger at him. "Not true, James. Remember the Willow Incident?"

"This is different, Sirius. This is April Fool's Day." James reminded him.

He sighed. "Okay, look... I'll do if it isn't too bad. What did you have in mind?"

James shrugged innocently. "Oh, I only have a small plan..." He smiled wickedly. "Just dramatically confess that you love him."

"What? _How _is that funny?"

"How _isn't_ it funny?" James replied. "It's too 'out there' for Remus to even take it seriously anyway."

Sirius nodded reluctantly, knowing it would probably hardly faze Remus in the least. "Why come up with something so...childish?" He asked raising a brow in a curious manner.

James shrugged. "Maybe I'm just losing my touch." He stated with a secretive smile.

"What've you got planned Prongs?" Sirius asked suspiciously, knowing that look well.

"Me? Little old me? Joking aren't you?" The teen replied with mock innocence.

Sirius rolled his eyes and decided not to ask any more about it. Maybe he didn't even want to know.

---

The morning of the next day – April Fools to be exact – came sooner than Sirius thought it would. He had slept almost none the previous night, half the fault being that of anticipation, while the other was making devious plans with none other than Mr. James Potter. They had a huge stash of all sorts of menacing objects, all dedicated to one soul purpose: Making the day complete hell for the teachers.

The first item on that days agenda revolved around a certain dripping-with-grease-hasn't-showered-for-a-year Slytherin, whose name should be quite obvious. For those with a weaker intellect, this one person is Severus Snape.

Especially reserved for the fiend in question was a lovely stink bomb and a troll-boggey filled chocolate frog. First the  
chocolate frog was placed delicately in his own personal stash of real chocolate frogs, (house elves, as James discovered, have a soft spot for licorice wands and can be easily bribed) so he would never suspect it was a set-up. As a sort of a grand finale the stink bomb was placed in the very tip of his shoe, so unless he shook them out, it would be too late. All of this cost them about ten licorice wands, but the Marauders (excluding Remus, of course) thought it would all be worth it.

By six o'clock more than four of the teachers had been pranked right under Remus' nose, yet Remus did not suspect a thing of April Fool's day, at least to Sirius' eyes. When classes were over, James mouthed a '_now_' to Sirius in the halls, pointing up to the dormitories swiftly. Sirius took one final gulp before linking his hand with Remus' and steering him hastily up the stairs. He could hear trying-to-be-discreet footsteps behind him and knew that it was James following them to listen in at the door.

He pushed Remus inside and ignored his inquires, holding him at arm's length.

He couldn't do this.

Just as he was about to sigh and actually explain it all out, he heard a quiet snicker from the other side of the door and reminded himself that it _was_ April Fool's Day, and that since Remus wasn't pranking along he would just have to be pranked.

"Remus," He began in a lustful and slightly dramatic voice. He wondered if somehow he could cloud over his eyes with a dreamy expression, but just ended up half-lidding his eyes and looking rather tired and bored. "I have something to tell you."

Remus would find this funny. He might even roll around on the floor laughing like Sirius would be. Only if Sirius would be rolling around on the floor laughing himself.

He swallowed.

Remus surely must have picked up on all of the jokes and pranks made in the hallways and in classes. Remus wasn't daft. He picked up on things and understood them faster than Sirius could himself. Remus might have even picked up on this prank right now faster than Sirius could. He was smart that way.

"I can't keep it in any longer," He stated dramatically, and wondered suddenly if he should get down on one knee and shook this thought from his head. He wasn't proposing, for Merlin's sake! "You must know... it's tearing me apart..." He recited it just like he and James had talked about it and even laughed about the absurdity of it. He sounded like an old poet, reciting even older poetry.

Remus must have picked up on this by now.

"But I have come to inform you of my everlasting love for you!" He finished bureaucratically.

Remus gasped and his eyes widened, and hurriedly Sirius wondered if he was taking him seriously or was about to fall over laughing.

But he simply placed a hand to his mouth, letting it drop slowly afterwards.

There was no laughter.

Sirius, his hand still poised on his heart, waited somewhat nervously. James was supposed to pop in saying 'APRIL FOOL'S' any second.

"I love you too." He heard suddenly, his own eyes' widening. He had to lean in to even hear Remus' quiet whisper, but before he knew what else was happening, he heard the doorknob turning and felt Remus' lips on his and his hands in his hair.

"Mmph!" He cried out almost automatically.

"APRIL F – HOLY HELL!" James shouted out.

Sirius ripped away from Remus, who was looking confusedly from Sirius to James.

"Er. April Fool's, Remus." James said quietly, blushing madly in the doorway.

Remus looked incredulously from James to Sirius, who was gulping nervously and had his hand on the nape of his neck awkwardly. Sirius sent James a rather horrified look, which James returned shockingly, and then took a step backwards, still in his trance.

"Er... should I not be here?"

Remus spoke up all of a sudden before Sirius could. "T-This was all just a joke?" He asked quietly.

Sirius finally found his voice and pointed toward his calendar hurriedly. "It's April Fool's, Remus!! See? That makes this all okay, see, since it's April Fool's!!" He squeaked out rather desperately.

Remus looked close to tears as he looked into Sirius' eyes and Sirius couldn't even stand to look back into them. "So... that makes this all _funny_?" He said rather disgustedly, hurtfully, and his eyes looked so betrayed... how could Sirius even let James talk him into such a stupid prank?

"Uh." James said from the door, not really sure how to explain.

But Remus was already running from both of them.

---

Sirius sat on the edge of his bed, head in hands, a re-run of the day's events flashing before his mind's eye. James paced in front of his, tossing his head with worry.

"Maybe he was pranking us as well?" He suggested anxiously, as if trying to convince himself.

"James, did you see the look on his face?" Sirius asked slowly his head raising. "He was _not_ faking it."

James nodded, knowing he was enforcing wishful thinking. "But you don't like him, how can you change that?"

"Don't I?" Sirius said hanging his head again. Confusion coursed its way through his veins and he didn't know what reaction to have; happiness or disgust.

James looked at him and for a spilt second he looked sympathetic and almost understanding, but they his face clouded over with a frown. "You like him?"

"I don't know what to think, James. My head is like...a whirlpool." The shaggy haired youth replied with a heavy sigh.

"Not that there's anything wrong with that." James settled on the bed beside

Sirius. "D-Did you _enjoy_ it?"

Sirius paused, thinking. "I don't know."

---

The next day Remus didn't even look at any of them. He kept on sending uneasy glances at Peter, as though wondering if he was in the on the joke too.

Sirius knew to _definitely_ not joke Remus on April Fool's Day anymore.

James and Sirius felt positively horrible, but what was done was done. Sirius knew inside that James was going to laugh about this years later, and if Sirius didn't do anything, he wouldn't laugh at all. He was the one who had kissed Remus after all, and Remus had confessed his love to him - not James. In his mind, he would constantly brood at the thought of this memory.

He knew that he felt a lot more guilty than James ever would, and that he definitely cared for Remus' welfare much more than James did. He didn't only _think_ that Remus was hurt, he _knew_ that Remus was hurt.

And it was Sirius' fault.

He hadn't necessarily told James, but he _had_ enjoyed the 2-second-kiss they had shared momentarily, before James burst in, interrupting their 'moment'. Remus must have felt horrible then.

Why did he ever joke around with something so low and immature and definitely _not_ funny at all? He proved it to himself. He was the immature one that hurt people all the time for fun... but joking Remus was not fun at all.

It was dreadful.

He would blush and squirm every time Remus would send a cold glance at him. He would even mouth over to him: "I'm so sorry, Remus, see?" And he would wave his arms madly, but Remus would always look away before he even got to 'sorry'. Obviously he had nothing to do with Sirius anymore.

Sirius wouldn't either.

But he couldn't help wondering if Remus still loved him. Yes, he might think that he was a stupid, insensitive, hurtful, inconsiderate, foolish, immature bastard, but he still might love him. In his mind he rehearsed apologies but none of them ended the way he wanted them to end.

He even wrote a small little letter on a scrap of paper when he was bored in History Of Magic, but it missed strings of words and punctuations and showed nothing close to the guilt he was feeling. Should he trust his poor English to confess such an important thing? Remus would probably edit the letter and then throw it away without a second glance. Besides, the letter was blotchy and just as stupid as the prank itself. He wrote in pen, and not pencil, because pencil wasn't permanent. Should he even _trust_ his ink to fulfill the things he thought when this was such an important manner?

He threw away the letter before the class was halfway over.

Sirius tried writing him a card, including poetry and all. But it came off as horribly as the letter, and that too, ended up in the garbage.  
He gave up when he had tried drawing out his feelings. He would have to get things more straightened out before he sketched out the entire scene with James looking like a girl and Remus looking like he was dying the next second.  
---  
Fitful dreams clouded over Sirius. Images of him and Remus together in compromising ways flashed through his mind. He awoke with a yelp, sitting straight up, a cold sweat the only form of a blanket he had on. He glanced across the room to see the bed hangings pulled shut around Remus' bed. He'd made his decision.

He loved Remus back.

There had always been something _more_ that he felt for Remus. Something he couldn't quite place, but never brought up. Even with himself. Now he sat staring at the hangings around Remus' bed, and wondering why the hell he hadn't just gone after him.

He stood cautiously and padded carefully across the floor – careful to avoid the squeaks – and carefully brushed aside the rustic red bed hanging. He leaned down over Remus' face so their cheeks touched, but his mouth was beside Remus' ear.

The boy beside him stirred slightly and Sirius could smell tears on his cheeks. "Rem." He whispered into his ear, and Remus grunted as if he thought he was dreaming.

"Rem, wake up. Moony."

Remus twitched and then his face moved away in shock.

"What?" He whispered back. "Back to torment me some– " He was stopped when Sirius pushed a heated kiss onto his lips, his hands cupping Remus' face.

Remus grunted and held Sirius back. The pale light of the moon was cast across Sirius' face; exposing the answer Remus searched them for. They showed honesty.  
Sirius was yanked back down and his lips were met with crushing force. He moaned softly and wrapped his arms around the one he loved, pulling him into his lap. The heated kisses stopped and their foreheads rested together.

"What took you so long?" The tan haired one asked, sarcastically.

Sirius shrugged with a small smile.

"I had to figure some things out." He replied.

Remus rose an eyebrow. "What?"

Sirius, smiling, had the prank recited back into his head as clear as a tape recorder. His hands sliding off of Remus, he beamed.

"Remus..." He said. "I have something to tell you."

Remus' eyes widened peculiarly, since the speech was familiar.

Sirius spoke on. "I can't keep it in in any longer. You must know... It's tearing me apart." This time it was actually _real_. All of a sudden, the absurd words that had sounded so sappy earlier were all of a sudden so much more romantic and less surreal.

"But I have come to inform you of my everlasting love for you." He finished quietly, his voice fading away as reached the end of the sentence. His fingers found Remus' hand and gently caressed his palm before he lightly curled a fist around Remus' soft skin, smiling at his neck.

"Padfoot...?" Remus asked awkwardly, pushing him to arm's length.

"Yeah?"

"Is this a joke?"

Sirius let out a small laugh. "No."

"Is it a prank?"

"Never." He continued, waiting for Remus to just simply kiss him.

"Is it a bet or dare between James and you?" He continued skeptically.

Sirius shook his head twice, and then finally dipped his head down lightly so their breaths were hot on each other's lips.

"I love you, Moony." He confessed in a whisper, before leaning down and bringing their mouths together in a fusion of desire and truth and definitely no prank.

_AN: _Sorry if it's a bit bumpy, but I can't fix it unless I write it all over again... I wrote this with the excellent xxacidxx (bless her)... and I think it turned out well! R&R!  
Love,  
JULIA :D ;O :P


End file.
